well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
