We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
