so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
