I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
