just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
