garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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