I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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