I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
