Pappa wants mamma naked
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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