I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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