You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
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I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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