Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
