I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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