Jerry, you need to find god
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
