I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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