I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
