She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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