At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Couch. On fire.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
