i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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