You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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