Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
