sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
