whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
