White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
