i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
