in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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