remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
