I accidentally had phone sex last night
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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