Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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