so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize