I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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