in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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