I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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