He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
time to smoke my breakfast
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
