You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
