Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
