I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So I just went to clothing optional bar
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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