Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
