This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize