but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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