Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
