we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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