There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
