it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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