I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
