Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
