And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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