It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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