i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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