Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
