I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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