Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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