I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Jerry, you need to find god
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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