lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
