i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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