So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
