I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.